a short history

1rst luv 1rst:
(my Yoguslavian)
i learnt nothin @ school that year bt of Belgrade & psychology.
its ironic now that all that geology goes blank.
no Yoguslavia,
hes the last survival of his land in my mind.
2 pure & young 2 try @ all
so i spent days watchin, enjoyin,
boilt water run through my throat, down 2 the stomach,everytime i was close
& when far, i dd nothin bt cry.
cried 4 2 years & when partin i dreamt each & every night 4 365 days.
ill always hld it dear!
next:
warm body,
masculin lines,
resillient & dark complexious.
this is how he was.
cool hearted,
a musician,
a creator.
his tambourin the closest friend in life
(my Persian)
& he shared it all wth me.
bt complex!
he was the mysterious type.
next:
my childhood lover & friend,
cleverest of all i hv ever known,
my brother, the 1rst closest 2 me ever
(my blood)
we grew up 2gether & fell in luv
bt road set me apart
& him time changed.
sth still always on & off painfully sparkles!
next:
a mad man,
a crazy luver,
a fragile maniac,
a writer.
luv was so difficult 4 him, id hv 2 b a prisoner!
i never cried as much in nebody's arms as his.
he was full of emotions
like above this wrld, / mayb below:
his drinkin & melancholy
(my sad Polish).
then came the most intense of all:
reminent of the 1rst,
passion,madness, the impossible, only in the movies
(my Achilles)
& we hd 2 part casue they were after him!
he got away 4 my own protection
he was in so much trouble @ times
body in pain
he would not let me touch!
he kd not feel young!
next:
the most logical of all
so mature we shared a relationship
bt much hidden within
i luved him 4 that
& parted 4 that v reason
(women kn b strange smtimes)
he was unkind 2 his soul
bt open-minded
(my wrld wanderer)
& now...
u:
a combination of all the g thngs i ever found in men
& the lack of their flaws.
im happy 2 hv found u
bt wonder @ times if my feelins r real.
casue im tired
& i think that the way i feel 4 u mayb jst a false belief due 2 my heart's desperation 4 a luv so deep
/that this is 2 g 2 b true!
i dnt know
bt u gv me this sth
& i know we gotta say bye soon.
wish i kd jst lie down thinkin... this is the best
wish i kd jst lie down... not worryin
wish i kd jst lie down thinkin & knowin that this is the LAST!

ME IN YOU

seein me in u,
me in u is an amaizment.
i need not express 4 the 1rst time in life
u do it 4 me.
i am calm as a meadow, far far away
im calm cause i dnt need 2 strive 2 b understood
i am calm & ready 2 listen,
2 u, 2 my 2nd self.
my mirror
u reflect all that i always found valuable
and all that what is falible in me
& when u comment,
i dnt get mad, jst in the same manner as wth a mirror we never hld grudges against.
u teach me patience & acceptance
here i practice bending wth u
& i listen more than i ever hd 2 talk,
cause i know u r the 1 needin a listener this time.
feelin me alive in u.
so u dnt hv 2 miss me when we part
i follow u wherever u go
i am the other u.
it may b that, what they call the 2nd half!
it may b.